Looking down upon the cold lifeless form of my only daughter, laid out on a trolley, is something that will remain with me for the rest of my life.
Black hair, chin stud, nose stud, cold - freezing cold - lifeless hand with the attached hospital identification bracelet. Slightly bloated face but instantly recognisable. At peace, at last, but at 22, with so much yet undone, unsaid, unachieved is truly gut wrenching and heart-breaking.
You want to scream 'go away' and let me embrace her, my child, my baby. Let me make her warm and safe. Let me take her home. Let me love her. Let me help her. Let my love bring her back to life. Take my life in return for hers. Let us swap places.
I need her home, safe and sound. I need her laughter. Her joy. Her innocence. Her embrace. Her argumentative put downs, her defiance. Her anger. Her haughty dismissal.
I need her. I love her. She's better than me and better than you. She is life. She's so brilliant, she has so much to do, so much to achieve.
She's left too big a gap to fill in our lives. We can't do it. We need her.
We always will.
Patrick (Pandora) Reynolds, aka Madeleine Françesca Conway. 1/12/1993 - 9/11/2015
Rest In Peace. And if you are surprised now that God has taken you in, don't worry, you'll be telling him where He went wrong in a few days. And He'll probably agree with you if He knows what's good for him. He certainly won't be able to better your arguments or the force of logic with which they're explained.
Sleep well my darling child. We should both have been better at communicating our love. But mainly me.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bright-student-who-championed-talking-6810936
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