You left me in the cold kitchen with no food. Closed the door so I couldn't sit on the back of the settee and keep guard over your (my) territory. I haven't been on a proper walk for days. You tell me off when I can't hold it in but it's just natural and I can't help it.
I hate the postman. We fight and I always win. He pushes stuff through the door and I kill it, make sure it's safe for you. He always admits defeat and goes away.
It's lonely sometimes when you go into the garden and leave me inside. What do you both do in the garden for eight or nine hours at a time?I sometimes think that you get in that big thing with wheels and go somewhere without me. I have been in it a few times and it was fun. I put my nose out of the window and it ruffled my fur. But then you carried me around in a bag, like an onion. I didn't like that much. But people were nice and friendly. Maybe they thought I was disabled or something? I'm not am I?
Can we go for a walk today? I know it's a bit cold and muddy but you have wellies and coats and I don't. And I know I have to go in the sink for a bath afterwards - I like that if I'm honest - but can we? I'd really really like it.
It's OK if you don't want to. Maybe I can bring you my ball and you can throw it for me? Just a couple of times. I'll bring it back for you. But if you're watching that box thing in the corner that's OK. I don't mind. Maybe I can curl up next to you on the sofa and keep you warm? I like that. You sometimes stroke me and that's really nice.
The thing is, you leave me alone for hours, you kick me out of your rooms when I'm not wanted, leave me to fend for myself when it doesn't suit you for me to be involved. You either like me to befriend visitors and do my thing, or lock me away out of sight.
I should by rights be confused. Feeling unloved and neglected.
Next time you come home I'm not going to come running and show my unending unequivical love for you. I'm going to be indifferent.
If only I could control my bloody tail.
;)
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